CHAPTER 18:
 
 
PELVIS PARSLEY
 
 
 
Well, since my baby left me (boom-boom)
I’ve found a new place to dwell (boom-boom)
It’s down at the end of lonely street at Heartbreak Hotel…[1]
 
 
     ‘Pelvis Parsley’ gyrated his hips to the bluesy beat laid down by the drums and guitar of one of the three hundred and twenty-nine sanctioned local Las Vegas session bands. Once again, the audience was going wild in the dimly lit concert hall, taking in what many naïve considered to be a true, if eccentric, reincarnation of the King himself. Whistles, howls, aped sing-a-longs and Alabaman rebel yells pierced the thick and smoky air. Follow-spot illumination reflected off of Pelvis’ sequined costume, creating shafts of light which stabbed out through the haze and lit up empty high-ball glasses, bits of velvet and jiggling sweaty cleavages.
 
 
You make me so lonely baby
I get so lonely
I get so lonely I could…SPOING!!!
 
 
     The inexperienced band faltered to a stop as Pelvis stood bolt upright. Like mayonnaise, a faraway look spread across his face. Most Earthlings are familiar with the phrase “staring off into space”, but this was the first time any humans had ever actually been able to witness the event. It’s too bad that they were all going through this part of their lives fat, drunk and stupid (another all-too recognizable cliché).
Suddenly, Pelvis came back to life. “Ugh…excuse me, folks,” he drawled, “ugh…I gotta go. Igmo’s in town. Ugh, thank you…thank you very much.” He turned and quickly disappeared back stage.
     The band bravely attempted to pick up the remainder of the hopelessly interrupted tune, but the audience had long since burst into a gaggle of confused, fanatical, irate, inebriated demanding customers whose grasp on reality was already sketchy at best. They broke into a chorus: “WE WANT TO SEE THE WATER PART” with a couple of “AMEN’s” thrown in for good measure.
     In a dark alleyway behind the nightclub, a lone street light played with some ripples on a small pond of melted ice cubes discarded there earlier by some lazy busboy. Standing by a red brick wall, a dead ringer for ‘The King of Rock ‘n Roll’ caught up on old times with the [SURPRISE!] literate hog. They proceeded with some small talk, discussing such things as the relative merits of being made of organic matter instead of pure energy.
     “Hey, man,” Pelvis asked suddenly, “how’s the pig gig goin’?”
     “I lost my job tomorrow.”
     “Lost the job?”
     “It’s going to be messy.”
     “Tomorrow?!? Got me there, hot shot! You in some kinda time loop or something?”
     “Yes. I dropped back a day so I could get some things done.” Igmo filled Pelvis in on what the other ‘Gases’ from the group were doing, the future demise of Hugh Fardid’s Carnival pièce de résistance employment status and his contact with Harold. “A very suitable subject in my estimation,” he grunted. “He is on his way to a place named Twilight, Texas to attend an educational program. In order to get there before he does and prepare myself to observe this specimen further, I am also returning to this location in the middle of this populated continent the day before I left.”
     “Sounds cool, daddy-o! But, don’t you think you oughta go as something other than a large swine? I mean, you know, no offense, man…but something that might blend in a little better? Look at me…Mister Vegas! Whatever, man.”
     “Yes. That does make some sense.”
     “Hey, man…one thing you might need to do is get hip.”
     “I have a pretty large one already, Pelvis.”
     “I mean, learn some cool lingo, man. Loosen up…dig?”
     Igmo grunted, “I think so. I will examine the lexiconic slang data bank. I am going to Texas, after all…” he chortled to his colleague then became silent for a moment.
     Continuing with his Vegas observation, Pelvis jibed, “You should’ve been here when ‘Moses, the Hebrew’ stepped into the stripping portion of the show. There was almost a riot! I stepped right in during the separation of the water in front of the stage and bought them hound dogs a round of combustible drinking fluid. That calmed them down considerably. Anyway…what about the kid?”
     “He’s got my hat.”
     “Your hat?”
     “It is where I kept the extra-sensory transponder.”
     “Whoa…heavy! Hey, listen, man…I’ve gotta get back to the stage before the manager gets miffed.”
     “I understand. I must go, also.”
     “I dig, man. Keep in touch. You know where to find me…under the bright lights and skin tights!” Pelvis disappeared around the corner of the building. Igmo simply disappeared. A moment later, there was a bright flash, a curse and the sound of running footsteps.
 
 
 
 
 
   
 
[1] Elvis Presley, “Heartbreak Hotel” (Mae Axton, Tommy Durden, Elvis Presley)
Song: Ch.18-1
End: Chap. 18